shiny bullets

Our brutal heroine’s adventures continue today in the magazine. As usual, things for Liza are… in flux:

It occurs to me, largely because my mother had written it in a letter to me the previous week, that I have a tendency to undermine myself with fantastic projections of my dream life. “Reality is a bitter pill to swallow,” she wrote, “and you have always had a difficult time accepting any situation that’s less than perfect. I worry that you’ll always be discontented…

Catch up on the series from the beginning in the archive.

New fiction from Trish Elms, today in the magazine:

Thea loved the way he added an extra syllable to the word cold when he sang; the way he closed his eyes, tilting his head slightly to the left when he got to the chorus, and the way his rough, warm hands reached for her in the darkness of their cool bedroom at night. But she no longer liked him, and no amount of singing would change that.

What with the 100th episode and the Lorelai telling Emily “We’re done” and all, Gilmore Girls is all over the tv and arts pages this week – including my writeup for PopMatters – but the Onion interview with ASP is most interesting, especially since she seemed to be in a “Goodbye to all that” / “I’m leaving soon” kind of mood. Odd, since the show has sounded unlikely to go past Season 7 (if not ending at 6), which the leads are committed through. Alexis Bledel gave a lesson on ‘the talent’ and their power (or lack thereof) to E!’s Kristin at the WB’s 10th anniversary party:

“They always make it seem like the actors have something to do with that, with how long the show goes on, but they don’t,” she explained. “We have no control, ever. My So-Called Life did not end because Claire Danes didn’t want to do it anymore. It ended for some other reason.” Lauren also chimed in, thanking Alexis for that reference from “the late ’80s” just before fessing up to the fact that she borrowed Alexis’ So-Called DVD and still hasn’t returned it …

We can look for Noah Baumbach’s The Squid and the Whale in theaters this fall. Goldwyn Films and Sony’s Screen Gems acquired rights to the film, which had its world premiere last month at Sundance and earned Baumbach directing and screenwriting honors there. The film revolves around two brothers growing up in mid-80s Brooklyn while their parents’ relationship unravels, and the younger boy is played by Owen Kline (son of Phoebe Cates and Kevin), who memorably sang the anniversary song for Sally and Joe in The Anniversary Party.

Salon’s HH was in Park City and caught up with Baumbach for what turned out to be a surprisingly engaging conversation on living through your parents’ divorce, joint custody and other “fads.” The director also shed vague light on and raised new questions about Kicking and Screaming, his cult hit, and its followup Mr. Jealousy:

I wanted to make movies when I was really young, and I made “Kicking and Screaming” and I’m really proud of that movie, but it’s weird, because the desire to make them and then the ability to make them and then to actually be able to draw upon whatever’s inside of you didn’t always match. On my previous two movies, there was often a feeling of, “OK, well, I guess that turned out that way.” This is the first time I really felt like I was able to put what was inside my head out there. This is a long way around the barn to your question, but I think that came from writing very personally, which was all new to me, and not putting any filter up and not worrying about people’s feelings and not worrying about whether or not it’s commercial. So it’s certainly inspired by my life. My parents did divorce when I was in high school, we did live in Park Slope. I think in some ways it feels more intimate and more real because of what’s fictional about it, too. If it were more literally true, I think it would feel clunkier.

Still no word on a K&S dvd, though.

The more I look at the major network TV landscape, with its island voodoo, uneven suburban tales and murder and medicine mysteries of the week, the more I can’t imagine that 1/4life – or 1/4 Life – will last long on ABC (assuming it makes the schedule):

As with all Zwick-Herskovitz television projects, “1/4 Life,” will be character-driven and dialogue-filled. There will be bedroom conversations about failed expectations and the meaning of life.

Will there also be torture, costume changes, a rock score and zoom-in shots inside the twentysomethings’ bodies to reveal their beating hearts? I think that’s what it takes these days…

Today in the magazine, Siri Steiner considers her old self – that ugly kid singing James Taylor on the videotape – and her current one, but can’t quite make them join. Still, she finds some perks in ugliness.

The Simon turns its new feature, Why Are They Famous?, on Topher Grace this week, and Trevor Thompson gets off track – in a very good way – when a chance sighting of Grace on the Metro North New Haven Line sends him reeling. It’s easy not to hate huge stars who seem to live in another world, he writes. It’s a hell of a lot more upsetting when they start passing through yours:

But this guy, this Topher . . . he was suddenly all up in my business, taking the same commuter train as me on a Tuesday afternoon and dressing like I would dress if I wasn’t at work. A movie star my age, my height, doing the same thing I was doing, yet I could work in advertising my entire life and never make as much money as he makes in one year. As he passed by my seat, the wake of his success washed over me and I almost drowned in an overwhelming feeling of inadequacy. I fought the urge to tear off my tie and hang myself from the luggage rack.

File under self-promotion: I reviewed life as we know it, the new ABC drama you haven’t been hearing about for months, for PopMatters.

As for those other shows, Lost got more tawdry and DH got more tasteless (or maybe Susan can tell us what Mrs. Huber’s ashes taste like?) last week – and I loved every minute of it. Is it a good idea for Lost to keep pretending to kill off its principals? No. But we haven’t had enough of Shannon’s bitchiness yet. And surely she can find more ways to torture Boone?

New in the magazine, Minter Krotzer recounts three personal milestones of girlhood: first period, first bra, first trip to the ob/gyn.

While the world talks Oscar in February, ShinyGun will be looking at the films that really hit close to home – those goofy comedies that ran incessantly on cable during childhood, that secret stash of dirty movies that taught you – or confused you as to – what was what, and all your other tacky favorites. Tell us what under-recognized films matter to you, in 200 words or 1200. We’ll feature a roundup of the best submissions next month. Find more info in the magazine.

I didn’t catch all of the Globes arrival special – and I’m very OK with that – but the highlight of what I did see was Lisa Ling’s doh! moment with Minnie Driver and Joel Schumacher, currently touting the big-screen Phantom. Driver sings the film’s only new song (nominated tonight) over the credits, but she does not perform the opera that her character contributes. But Lisa didn’t do her homework, asking Miss Driver what it was like to sing in the film, only to be gently corrected, with a “well, actually, I didn’t…” explanation. Cue the switch back to Nancy or Roker, but not before we get Lisa looking every which way for something to take the focus off her gaffe.

I still don’t know why they trot Lisa out (to fawn over hot actors like she’s still the silly whippersnapper at a table of mouthy hens?) for these events at all. Didn’t she ditch The View to get back to that serious reporting of global importance? Send her back to National Geographic.

As Death him/itself on Tru Calling, Jason Priestley repeatedly tells Tru that dying is inevitable. But you wouldn’t think so from watching American television, Michael Holden writes in The Guardian. He namechecks everything from Desperate Housewives to Rescue Me in uncovering the undead underbelly of U.S. TV.

Our milestone series continues with this essay, in which Justin Cioppa ponders his young brother’s future during a night at the fair:

That was what worried me most about Tommy. His would be a life filled with all the negative aspects of geekdom (wedgies, social ostracization, the inevitable internet ‘girlfriend’) and none of the positive (good grades, monetary success). It was like being born with hideous gills on the side of your neck but still not being able to breathe underwater. I had tried once to explain this to him, but he remained unfazed. “Fish don’t have gills, ya idiot. Whaddya think the blowhole’s for.”

If you haven’t already purchased or received The Bush Survival Bible – thanks to an unholy collaboration between liberal pessimism and the profit motive [it] practically appeared in bookstores before John Kerry finished his concession speech – you can read Flak’s review.

I am The Onion. Or so says Nerve, based on my poor 10 out of 20 score on their Year in Sex quiz:

We count on people like you for wry commentary. You may not know the latest breaking story, but you can always see the writing on the wall – you may even be the one writing it. Sometimes there’s nothing sexier than a cheek with a tongue in it.

But it’s kind of tough! And why did I guess right on the question asking what Mr. and Mrs. Federline had written on the tracksuits they gave their wedding party?!

Also at Nerve, Lily Burana heralds The hour of the MILF. Go Marcia Cross.